We Used to Laugh......

(Me & Mom, 1994)

We used to laugh, my Mom and I. We shared the same sense of humor, and found silliness in the simplest things.

I used to laugh at her for cleaning the bathroom "when the mood struck her."...not meaning our bathroom was dirty until she felt like cleaning it, but sometimes when she would be getting out of the bathtub in the evenings. After scrubbing the tub, she would continue to clean the sink, toilet and floor with just a towel wrapped around her. I would knock and enter the bathroom to find her cleaning the mirror with a paper towel, and a her foot on a rag, wiping the floor at the same time. We would crack up, and she would say "I might as well, while I'm in here."

Once, she and I became obsessed with doing cross stitch. I had bronchitis, and missed a week of work. She and I went to a crafts store and bought tons of cross stitch kits and thread. We finished a few things, then put it away. Years later, when we were cleaning out a closet, we found those things.....and laughed until we cried. Oh yes, we were so dedicated in continuing our cross stitch projects....every time we came across another unopened kit, we would laugh harder.

Then, there was the blue shirt. I bought a soft, well-worn used blue Woolrich shirt at a garage sale. It was a mens shirt, so it was big. A soft button-down I would wear around the house on weekends. My mother fell in love with the shirt, so I gave it to her when I moved away. The following Christmas, when she sent my gifts to Florida, in one of the boxes was the blue shirt. There was no note with it.....I laughed until I cried. The next Mother's Day, I sent the shirt back to her. This went on for years, until one of us lost track of the shirt. I can't even tell you where it is to this day. But for a lot of years, it brought us bouts of tear-filled laughter....each one of us thinking about the other.

My father, bless his heart, was a topic of a lot of our shared laughter. Not in a mean way, but some of the things that he said, or the way that he acted was hilarious to me and my Mom. When my brother and I were still young, my Mom would pick us up from school. If it was late in the afternoon, my Dad would be getting ready to drive home at the same time (he was a teacher at our school). My brother would get in my Dad's car with him, I would be in my Mom's car with her. We would be sitting at a stoplight, both cars side by side, and my Mom would look over at my Dad and give him the finger just as the light would be turning green. We would bust out laughing, then she would take off. She always beat my Dad home. My brother would be mad because Dad drove so slow. Another joke we had regarding Dad, was he would never pass up anything FREE. We were all staying in a hotel one time, and Mom and I got up early, and were tiptoeing out of the room to go downstairs for coffee, when my Dad, still mostly asleep, saw us. He started fumbling around on the beside table for the Free Continental Breakfast coupon he had, croaking in his still-sleepy voice "FREE....take these Free.......". Another time, she and my Dad had come down to visit me in Florida. We had gone out for dinner, and I was driving them back to their hotel. My Dad fell asleep in the back seat, and Mom and I were quietly talking in the front. A thunderstorm had just finished, as we passed a field full of cows. "I wonder if cows can be struck by lightening?" I asked my mom, quietly. "OF COURSE THEY CAN!" this voice boomed from the backseat. My sleeping father suddenly awoke, to answer my question. We laughed until I thought we would pass out.

I can't remember the last time that I laughed with my Mom. It has been a very long time. I'm glad that I have the memories. I ache because there will not be any more.

I miss you, Mom, even though you're still here

I can't reach you anymore

Your eyes are open, your heart beats

yet you can't hear my words

When you look at me, your eyes are scared

I hope that you know

how much I love you and

would never hurt you

I wish that you would come back

I miss you and love you

I just hope that you know that

(Me & Mom, 2009)